Boa Retirement

One of the best parts of wearing a boa is the molting!  You leave behind a small part of the fun with each feather that falls.  Sometimes I'd find boa feathers in my car WEEKS after the last time I wore a boa.

Boa feather on the field at Kinnick Stadium 

GO HAWKS!

The unfortunate part of leaving a bit of the fun behind is that eventually the boa is less full, and will eventually need to be retired.  I am planing on retiring my very first Iowa Hawkeye boa on January 28th.  After running the Securian 10k in St. Paul, I am heading to White Bear Lake to participate in the Polar Bear Plunge.   I will be wearing my boa as I jump into the lake!

It will be a bittersweet (and chilly) moment!  This boa has been along for some seriously fun times...

KINNICK

Camp Randall - During a Hawkeye win over the Badgers 20-10

GO HAWKS!

Tailgating with the Luther boys

With friends that feel more like family 

On the wedding day of two amazing people!

Tomorrow when I jump into White Bear Lake, the boa is jumping with me.  It will be the last time I'll wear this one.  What a fun, fabulous, fantastic event to retire it at!

I agreed to wha?!

As you know, I have dubbed 2012 as the Year of Extreme Racing.  My first extreme race will be on January 28th when I run the Securian 10k in St. Paul, then head to White Bear Lake to participate in the Polar Bear Plunge!  But I just agreed to something much more extreme than jumping in a freezing cold lake, or climbing the stairs of a skyscraper, or running an over night running relay.  I just agreed to go to the Minneapolis Boat Show with my husband... *shudders*

See, I haven't been to the Boat Show in 20+ years.  I can't even look at the billboards, hear the radio ads, or see the commercials without my stomach doing a little flip flop.  It's only within the past 2 years that I've even considered going back to the Minneapolis Convention Center.  The last time I was at the Boat Show I left the building bleeding profusely out the back of my head, with my mom incredibly pissed that we had just paid $20 to walk through the door. 

My parents and I had just started walking through the boats.  They turned around to leave the second vessel we checked out, and someone cut me off so I was stuck there.  Being a kid I thought I'd just duck out the corner of the boat instead... duh, I'm nimble!  But when I stepped out of the boat, I didn't step onto the platform.  My foot missed completely and I fell out of the boat.  I hit my head on the boat, then on the wheel well of the trailer, then the frame of the trailer, and finally on the concrete floor of the Convention Center.

I'm laying on the ground screaming in pain!  My parents turn around when they hear the cries and discover it's their child who is making all the racket.  My dad reaches down to pick me up and helps me stand on the platform. 

I then have a conversation that goes like this:
Mom: Stop crying!  You're acting like a baby!  What's the matter with you?  Shut your mouth!  I'll give you something to cry about!
Me (sobbing uncontrollably): There's s-s-something running d-d-down my back!
Mom (eyes grow wide): OH SHIT!

I black out at this point.  I wake up in a hospital while a doctor is coming at me with a large needle to numb my skull so he can put in 8 stitches.  Thank the heavens that it was January in MN, and we had only been at the show for a few minutes.  I didn't even have time to take my jacket off, and I think the hood may have saved me!

I hate the Boat Show.  I love my husband.  2012, the year of extremes!  Game On.

2012 - Year of the Extreme Race!

A quick wrap up on my 2011 goals before I dive into 2012 (it's going to be quick because I should have done this long ago, but I've been too busy doing other things):

• I ACHIEVED MY GOAL OF RUNNING AT LEAST one 5K PER MONTH IN 2011
• That's it actually.  I raced every month, and I loved it!  The only month with a minor snafu was July.  And that's because Lifetime Fitness cancelled the race at the last minute.  I scrambled, but found a better race in Stillwater! 
• December 3rd was my last race of the year and it felt amazing to complete my goal.  I jumped up and down singing, "I did it!  I did it!  I did it!"

Moving on to bigger and better and more extreme things... 2012! 

My goal for 2012 is in two parts.  Part 1, race at least 1 race per month.  The race can be as simple as a 5k, as involved as a triathlon, or as long as a half marathon (more on that later).  Part 2, race EXTREME races!  Thus far "extreme" includes the following:

• Polar Bear Plunge (So I realize this isn't a race.  Unless you consider that I'm racing against NOT drowning!)
• Stair climb
• Triathlon
• Half Marathon (YIKES!  Seriously, this one is the one that scares me most!)
• Obstacle race (I haven't decided yet on Warrior Dash, Tough Mudder, or Muddy Buddy)
• Mountain Bike Race (I'm not sure yet how many of the series I'd like to do, or which race yet.  But after spectating at numerous races over the past couple of years, I know this is extreme!!!)
• Ragnar (duh, totally extreme)
• Salsa 24 (Although, we'll see about this one... mountain biking in the dark.  Uh, yeah extreme!)

So, there it is!  My goals for 2012.  I will never forget that feeling of achievement on December 3rd.  I'm so excited to tackle these head on in 2012!

Happy New Year!

I run, you cheer. Pretty clear, right?

This post is a request that anyone I know get up early on a Sunday morning, drive to Minneapolis, and cheer for me while I run 10 miles with thousands of other women! Sounds fun, right?!

In less than 2 weeks I will run my first 10 mile race at the Women Run The Cities (WRTC - http://www.womenrunthecities.com/) event. The race begins at 8:00am Sunday, September 25th. The Start Line, and more importantly the Finish Line, is at Minnehaha Falls Park just off of Hiawatha Ave (Hwy 55) in Minneapolis.

I have been running at least one 5k each month this year, and my goal is to complete one a month for the whole year. It is truly with the support of my friends and family that I've kept on pace (pun totally intended!) to accomplish this goal. In addition to pushing myself at these monthly races I've registered for additional runs as well. This 10 mile race is by far the longest race I've ever accomplished. Even my running in Ragnar was not quite like running this 10 mile race.

It is because this will be such a challenge for me that I am asking people I love to get up early and come cheer me on! The people in my life have been so supportive of me all year long and I'd love to see familiar and smiling faces along the way, and at the Finish Line!

If you're like me, then you'd be interested in cheering at a couple places throughout the race route. To help you figure out approximately where I'll be I've put a pace map at the bottom of this post. My goal is to run 11:00 miles, with an overall finish time of under 2 hours. These mile markers (the numbers circled) and the times at the bottom right are just an opportunistic estimate of where/when I'll be.

Who: You and me
What: Cheering and running (respectively)
Where: Minnehaha Falls Park and on the West and East River Pkwys http://www.womenrunthecities.com/WRTC-CourseMap2009.pdf
When: Sunday, September 25th at 8:00am
Why: Because you love me and I'm a wee bit crazy!
How: With all my might!
My plan is to have Hot Hubby take me out for bacon and eggs after the race and the more the merrier!!!

Got... nothing

Ugh, creative genius, where have you been?  I've got nothing for ya folks.

On the upswing though, I'm still running those monthly 5ks!  AND I registered for a 10 mile race in September.

Wait, what?!  I paid money to run 10 miles?!  I thought I might be losing my mind, but now I'm certain of it.  Oh, and the other day I actually enjoyed running up and down hills in a quazi-figure 8 style on paths near home.  Seriously have lost my mind.

I'll come back soon.  Back from la la land!

Songs for Run #1

A few people have asked me what was on my playlist for my first 5k of 2011.  It's listed below with a few comments.  One thing I'll say about every one of these songs is that the beat is just great for me to run to.

Enjoy!

1. Hey Ya! by OutKast - The line "Lend me some sugar, I AM your neighbor" puts a huge smile on my face.  What could be better than smiling through a run in 12 degree weather?
2. Country Grammar (Explicit version) by Nelly - "Hot Shit" opens this song.  And I'd like to think that I was hot shit for even beginning this crazy goal!
3. Poison by Bell Biv DeVoe - "Never trust a big butt and a smile"... well, I'd love to have the big butt minus the big midsection.  And I've been told my smile is a very nice ASSet.  
4. What's Your Fantasy by Ludacris - Because one of my favorite fantasies involves me looking smokin' hot.  Running is helping me get smokin' hot!
5. All These Things That I've Done by The Killers - Okay, here's the thing...  If you aren't running while listening to this song, then you're really not listening.  There's so much passion, and so many things this song could mean to you personally.  It gets my blood moving, and says to me "Seriously Lisa?  RUN!"
6. Game Over (Explicit version) by Doomtree - Doomtree is a new group for me.  But this song caught my attention with the line "It's all been done, it's all been fixed, it's all the same."  Has it all been done?  "Welcome to the future, rap won't save you."
7. The Next Episode (Explicit version) by Dr. Dre - Alright, I like Dre.  I love Snoop.  Dirty Rap is my thing.  But this song was a total bust for me on this run.  It was too slow for me, and didn't have a message to deliver as the other songs did.
8. P.I.M.P. (Explicit version) by 50 Cent - Again, I like the Dirty Rap.  But it was too slow for me, there wasn't a message that I could find, and all I wanted to do was sit down and enjoy drink!
9. Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam - Now this one is a little hard to explain.  Actually, I get a little emotional explaining this one.  It turns out, this song happened to be on my iPod shuffle last August.  I had put a bunch of rock songs on the device to listen to while running for the Ragnar race (which is an experience I STILL haven't been able to blog about).  Of the songs I dumped on there, Yellow Ledbetter was one of them.  I decided earlier in the day that I'd like to mix up my music for each 5k this year, but that I would do my best to have Yellow Ledbetter be the last song I hear.  

I got less than 15 seconds into Yellow Ledbetter last weekend.  Less than 15 seconds into the song I wanted to end my run with.  I'm proud of that fact.  I underestimated myself.  I proved myself wrong.

January's Run = DONE

I finished my first 5k of the year!  Yesterday evening I participated in the inaugural Kick Your Resolution 5K in St. Louis Park, MN.  I was excitedly nervous all day waiting for race time.  I kept busy throughout the day by picking up my awesome race packet, stopping off at Dick's Sporting Goods for a couple of new race items, and creating my race playlist.

The race started at 4:51pm, and the temperature was a balmy 12 degrees.  I started at the very back of the pack of runners.  My initial pace was slow and steady, and I was actually enjoying the cold air whipping across my face.  Slowly but surely I began passing people.  It felt GREAT to be running past the other competitors and feeling confident in my pace.  We ran around Louisiana Oaks Park twice.  There were some nice hills here and there, which I really enjoyed, and it wasn't too icy.  The trees were lit up with red and gold lights, and running through the winter wonderland was FUN!

With about a half mile left of the race I had come up behind a lone runner.  It seemed the two of us were the only ones around by at least 25 yards.  I set my sights on her and kept up with her pace.  My strategy was to keep right on her heels until we were about 50 yards from the finish line.  Then I would kick it down, blow past her, and sprint to the finish!  We were running about 10 and a half minute miles.  My lungs felt great, my legs felt strong, my thoughts were clear.  I heard a runner behind me, and decided to begin my sprinting.

I turned on my mental power boost, engaged my legs into moving faster, and blew past the woman I had been pacing with.  I rounded the corner to cross the glorious finish, and heard my time... 35:23!!!  I ran my first 5k of 2011 in 35 minutes and 23 seconds!  I was ecstatic, I was high on endorphins, I was collapsing into the arms of a dear friend and her family!  I had fans cheering for me!!!  My Hot Husband was there with our pooch!  They came out to support me, and all of the mental and physical work I had done was celebrated!

Post Race Picture with one of my fans!

Thank you to everyone who supported me over the past week!  All of the encouraging blog comments, Facebook posts, texts, and phone calls made a huge difference.  Thank you!

I now have my sights set on February's race!  I'll post as soon as I am registered!

New Year - New Goal!

Happy New Year!!!  We rang in the New Year celebrating the marriage of two amazing people!  It was a fun night to reflect and hope for the future!

One of the things I reflected upon was the fact that I did not meet my goal of running 250 miles before 1/1/11.  I was high on just finishing Ragnar.  It was summertime in MN.  And I put out a lofty goal for myself.  In all honesty, I really believed in myself and thought I could do it.

I was motivated and excited.  I started out a bit weak by just walking the dog every day.  But around 30 days into it, I realized that I needed to get my butt in gear (literally).  I stepped it up a bit, then ended up with shin splints.  So, I altered my methods to include "miles" on the elliptical machine and stationary bike.  But still, I didn't work as hard as I should have worked.  In the end I was 68 miles short of making the goal.  I missed my mark.

On the positive side, I have hope for the future!  I worked hard towards the end of last year, and that propelled me into working hard at the beginning of 2011.  I've come up with a new goal, and I'm even more excited about this one!

My goal is to run at least 1 5k every month in 2011!  There will be some months that I run more than one race (for example, in August I'll also be running Ragnar).  And I'd also like to run a 10k this year as well!  But the goal is to run at least one 5k each month.

Below is a list of possible races.  I'll update as I register for each one, and hope some of you will join me!  You can be sure that I'll be wearing a boa from time to time, because after all... Everything is better with a boa!!!

• January: 
• Saturday 1/15 at 4:45pm - Kick Your Resolution Run in St. Louis Park.  REGISTERED!!!
• February: 
• Sunday 2/6 at 9:45am - Freeze Your Buns Run in Hamel.  (I've been told this is kind of a lame run, but FREE pancake breakfast... uh, yes please!)
• Saturday 2/12 at 9:00am - Hearts 'r' Running in St. Paul.
• March:
• Saturday 3/12 at 9:15am - 100% Irish for a Day.  I've done this one before, and it's a blast!!!  
• April:
• Saturday 4/9 at 8:30am - Run the Valley. 
• Although it is a GREAT race, I'm more than likely NOT going to run the Get in Gear on April 30th.  I have cheered at this race a couple of times in the past, and I think I'm going to continue cheering for this one!
• May:
• - Nothing I saw immediately caught my attention in May.  Will need some suggestions here!
• June:
• Saturday 6/11 at 8:45am - Lederhosenlauf 5k.
• Saturday 6/25 at 8:00am - Plymouth's Music in the Park.  It's so close to home, I'd walk to the run!
• July:
• Saturday 7/9 at 8:15am - North Memorial Whiz Bang Run.  Doesn't the name sound fun?!
• Saturday 7/9 at 8:15am - Hackensack Sweetheart Days.  Ahhh, so sweet!  Out of town, but could still be fun!
• August: - Nothing I saw immediately caught my attention in August.  Will need some suggestions here!  
• RAGNAR!!!
• September:
• Saturday 9/10 at 10:01am - James Page Blubber Run.  I've heard this is AWESOME!
• October:
• Saturday 10/29 - Monster Dash
• November: - Waiting for more race info to come out!!!
• December: - Waiting for more race info to come out!!!

I'm open to race suggestions!  Please let me know about fun and interesting races in or near the Twin Cities!!!  

And remember... I'd L-O-V-E for you to join me!

Because I said so...

I ask the question "why" alot. And I have ALWAYS hated the answer "Because I said so." Srsly, what kind of answer is that?!

But, as it turns out... there is one scenario in which I will accept this answer. It's when one of my friends commits to making a positive choice. See, the only reason I worked out yesterday and today is because I sent an email to the MFP and the Phil telling them I would. It's only "because I said so" that I took an hour each day to take care of only me.

I guess "because I said so" can be a good reason.

Thank you friends. Thank you.

What If...

I'm very curious by nature, and I love to know the answers to "Why" and "How". One of my favorite questions is "What if". I used to play this game called "What if..." It's not necessarily a game in that there's a winner or a loser. But it was something I did for fun to pass the time. I would come up with so many different "What if's..."

There were the questions that are absolutely absurd:

What if...

• there were no sidewalks anywhere?
• babies were born as 2 year olds?
• there were no dogs?
• the automobile was never invented?
• the sky was red all the time?

Then, there were the questions that seemed absurd at the time, but became reality:

What if...

• the planes fell from the sky?
• the bridge collapsed while we were driving over it?
• the roof caved in?

Unfortunately, 99% of these questions were directed at my sister. She tried to answer them honestly for years and years. But finally one day, she looked at me and quite seriously said, "We'd all be dead." I was so startled at her answer. I couldn't believe that everyone would really be dead if we only ate beef and never tried chicken. We certainly wouldn't all be dead if we didn't know how to use a computer. And we definitely wouldn't all be dead if every car in the world was orange!

See, she sort of got frustrated with all my questioning. It was non stop, over and over, my imagination would come up with so many questions. She got so tired of coming up with answers.

But now that I'm an adult, she is one of the first people I run my "What if's..." by. I reach out to her when I have big decisions to make. We run through scenarios of what could happen. But she never tells me "We'd all be dead." She knows that my questioning is helpful, and a good thing. She embraces my curiosity. She even encourages her own kids to question things.

I still, very much, enjoy questioning things. I love knowing why a process is done one way or another. I enjoy learning how things are completed from beginning to end. I just simply love learning.

Thankfully, the answer to my questions is very, very rarely "We'd all be dead."

Christmaspolooza

It's coming, it's coming, it's coming! Christmaspolooza will be here in 9 days! I'm so freaking excited for this "lock-in" type family celebration! Brian and I head down to my sister's house on Wednesday evening, and we won't be home again until Christmas morning-ish. We stock up on everyone's favorite foods and drinks. We play board games, card games, Wii games! We laugh, we cry, we eat, we drink. We run around like we're crazy people (and maybe we are, but I LOVE it)!

Christmaspolooza is the best way for a wanna-be Jewish girl to celebrate this wonderful, loving, blessed time of the year.

The Crying Game

I cry when I'm sad, happy, angry, excited, frustrated... all of the above. Simply put, I'm a crier.

Below are only a few places or situations where I've cried:

• My bed (in many homes.)
• My bathroom (again, in many homes.)
• My bosses office (many bosses actually. In front of my boss and alone.)
• My high school bathroom
• My therapists office
• Bathrooms at the bar (hmm... this seems to be a theme?)
• The Start (and Finish) line of the 2009 Get In Gear 10k
• In a hotel room in Red Wing after one of my closest friends told me she was pregnant. (This was crying AND laughing. Oh, and screaming too!)
• Our wedding.
• Other weddings. I'm 99% sure that I've shed tears at every wedding I've attended.
• And, today at Mile 6, 11, and 26.2 of the 2010 Twin Cities Marathon

Today's tears came while wearing a boa... just sayin'.

In Writing

I verbalized a lofty goal at the end of August. I told my Hot Hubby that I would walk or jog 250 miles before the clock strikes Midnight on December 31st of this year. At that time, it meant I would need to walk/jog just under 2 miles per day to make this goal.

Seeing as I didn't consider myself committed to this goal, I sort of slacked for about a month. I currently have 104 days to complete 226 miles. That's an average of 2.2 miles per day until New Year's Eve.

Now I have verbalized the goal to a couple of people AND it's in writing. I'm committed.

Feel free to remind me of this goal from time to time. Public or private Facebook messages, text messages, phone calls, carrier pigeons are all acceptable ways of communicating your interest in my goal.

Walk on, do something, care for yourself.

Ready vs. Want

There is a difference between being "ready" for something, and "wanting" something. For example:

• I may want a promotion at work, but I may not be ready for it.
• At one point in my early 20's I wanted a nice house in S. Minneapolis to call my own, but I was definitely not ready for it.
• Most days I am ready to go for a run, but I often don't want to go.
• I may be ready to start attending Shabbat services at Temple Israel, but I don't want to start (this item is a whole OTHER blog post!)
• The lawn is ready to be mowed, but I don't want to mow it.

My point today is that I understand that I will never be ready to have kids, but that doesn't mean that I want them. I struggle quite a bit with my feelings towards having or not having kids.

I have very well meaning friends that assure me that there will never be a perfect time to make that leap. I know that the timing will never be perfect. They also tell me that it will be "different" when the kids are my own. The problem with that kind of encouragement is that I actually like kids. I like babies, toddlers, pre-teens... sometimes I even like the moody teenagers!

Hot Hubby and I talk about having kids (or not) a lot. The issue we have isn't whether or not we are ready for kids. The issue is whether or not we want kids.

Dear Self,

We need to have a chat.

I am incredibly happy that you had finally realized that your glutinous, lazy ways are not healthy. But I am NOT happy that you gave up so freaking easily. Seriously Self, seriously. What did you think would happen when you put forth a mediocre (at best) effort to work out? Did you think that you'd miraculously lose weight, even though you still ate like a queen and drank copious amounts wine? Did you think that doing 30 minutes of easy cardio 4 times a week was going to develop into a habit?

Uh, NOPE! You need to take yourself seriously. You need to truly care about that curvy, fun, lovable body of yours. You need to exercise AND eat healthy! It's not rocket-science here babe, it's simple. Do the things that are good for you, eat the things that are good for you.

Lizard or no lizard... you need to get healthy. I love you. I want you to be around for a long time. Self, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Love always,

Me

Love Songs

Love songs are not always about a relationship between a boy and a girl. Sometimes they are about a father and a daughter. Sometimes they are about sisters. And sometimes they are about friends.

Keri Noble wrote and sings a song called "Watch Me Walk." It's on her self titled album (available at iTunes... shameless plug for a fan-freaking-tastic artist). This song brings me to tears. It's about a relationship that has ended, and she's walking away.

At first I related it to a broken marriage. I'd listen and think, "I never, ever want to feel the need or desire to walk away from my marriage." But as I listened more and more, I related it to the broken relationship between me and my parents. And as much as it sucks that they are not in my life anymore, I'm no longer being suffocated with lies, manipulation, or jealousy. I never wanted to walk away. It wasn't something I was excited to do, but in the end, it was the right thing to do.

I'm a firm believer in breaking ties from toxic relationships. I believe in a healthy mental and emotional life. Abuse sucks, whether it's physical or emotional. And if someone close to me needs to walk away from a relationship that is abusive, I will support that person.

It's not easy. But as Keri sings, "I'm alright with consequences, Better than these fences, Straddling the great unknown, and playing it safe".

I don't trust you

I don't trust you:

to do it as well as I will do it.

to take care of me like I want to be taken care of.

to be interested in me for the long haul.

to understand how I feel.

to always be there.

But:

you will do your best when I ask for your help.

you will take care of me the best that you can.

you will always want to hear me talk.

you will feel for me nonetheless.

you will always be there.

The Lizard Brain

So a few people have asked me "What's with the Lizard Brain"? and I've decided it's time to explain.

The short answer as described by my friend Ms. Lane: For our intents and purposes, it is that b!tch part of your brain that says "you can't do it - go sit on the couch instead"

The long answer is also from Ms. Lane. See we were on a walk about beautiful Lake Harriet when I started talking to her about how I was dissatisfied with my body image. I was describing how I've slowly realized that I've let myself go. I was no longer confident, let alone healthy. I also told her that I just haven't found a motivating factor to jump start my workouts or healthy eating.

She kind of giggled at me (her giggle makes me giggle, and then we get yelled at for being loud and it's back to the basement for us, but I digress). Then she said, "You're listening to your Lizard Brain too much." I said, "wha?" Then she explained:

See back in the day dinosaurs were so large that they had to have two brains. One controlled the top half of their bodies, and the other one controlled the bottom half. And as dinosaurs evolved they had less and less need for the second brain. Turns out lizards today still have an area near their tail where their old brain used to grow. This is the brain that keeps them down. The Lizard Butt Brain that says, "Meh, you don't need to take care of yourself", or "Dude, don't go for a walk, just sit on the couch", or "Go ahead, eat the whole entire pizza!".

The Lizard Butt Brain, or Lizard Brain, or Lizard, or LB for short, is that part of you that says "You can't". But you CAN! And all you have to do is kick the Lizard Butt Brain to the curb. Go ahead, give it a kick. It feels good!!!

Every Day

Every day is a chance to improve or make a change. It could even be said that every moment during the day is a chance to improve or make a change. Every time I have to make a choice, I have the opportunity to improve who I am.

I talk about change right now because I'm feeling overwhelmed. If I were to be completely honest, I would say I'm feeling overwhelmed and fat. I can't believe how many poor choices I've made over the last year that have caused me to gain the amount of weight I have gained. I can't believe how much I've let myself go. I chose to indulge in tasty treats, relaxing ways, and over abundance of vino!

But every day, every moment I have an opportunity to change. I have a chance to get myself back to a healthy weight. Healthy to me is also attractive. So my need to lose weight is two-fold: 1 to be healthy, and 2 to have confidence in my looks again.

So I try to make multiple choices throughout the day that will bring me to a better weight. I try to remind myself that I am my own worst critic, but I also get to control myself. Each choice can lead me down a healthy, happy path.

Sometimes I forget

Sometimes my life is going so well, and my emotions are so level that I forget I am bi-polar. Sometimes I forget that I'm a raging rollercoaster, and I can snap with nearly no warning.

Then there are times like last night, when I see things that remind me just how brittle my emotions can be. Watching the season premier of House last night made me remember that I've been there.

I've been the one who wasn't allowed sharp scissors during arts and crafts because they were a hazard to my (and other's) health. I've been the one who slept in that hospital bed, with her little booties and standard hospital pajamas. I've been the one who hit rock bottom for no apparent reason.

Sometimes I forget. Then I remember. And sometimes remembering hurts.