Most days I don't want to have kids of my own. Most people look at me like I'm crazy when the subject of having kids comes up. Most people try to convince me that having kids is the most amazing thing I'll ever do in life. Most people think I'd be an "excellent mother". I have many reasons why I don't want to have kids.
Here is a list of them:
- I'm freaking independent! Some days I'm amazed that I got married! It takes a lot of compromise to be married, and seriously I like things my way! I truly don't want to make decisions that have to account for more than myself, my husband, or our dog. It's enough already that they are involved in decision making. Case in point: my coworker doesn't want to go to an all expense paid Twins game because it's too close to his wife's due date. Ugh, I'd rather not consider due dates and baby sitters when it comes to making plans.
- Kids never go away! You give birth to them and they are a part of your life FOREVER. Even the kids that can't stand you and they disown you. Case in point: Uh, hello... I know you think about us constantly! We are still a huge part of your life even though you are NOT a part of our lives!
- I like spending my disposable income. Case in point: I like spending my disposable income so much that my brother in law has commented more than once that I am excellent at supporting economies! It's true, I like to spend money. I work for it, I'm going to spend it... on myself!!!
- You can't put a baby in a cage and leave the house for 8 hours. Duh, even I know that!
- I like drinking gin and juice until the wee hours of the morning. And I like playing Rockband with the TV volume turned up to 80.
- I like my relationship with my husband just the way it is. I like that most days we are happy and blissful. But when we aren't blissful, it's down right nasty. I don't want a kid involved in that! And I also don't want to give it up. Sometimes I like to fight damn it!
I'll keep being the auntie. And I'll keep getting excited with each baby that is born into my life. And I will treasure those babies as they grow to be toddlers, kiddos, pre-teens, teenagers, young adults and hopefully adults.
Yes, a part of me does get sad that I'm not into the baby making scene. It's not that I'm sad I'm not having babies... it's that I'm sad that I don't want those things. It is what it is.
And you know what... tomorrow may be the 1 out of 10 days that I change my mind about not wanting babies and I'll want to be a mother. But for now, MOST days I don't want to have kids.
I say good for you! Listen, I think it's a relatively recent thing in society where it is "safe" for people to admit that they don't want kids. In fact, I think there are an awful lot of people that had them when they didn't want them because they figured they had to. I know that you probably encounter people who judge you or give you opinions about this but know this. I will never judge you. In fact, in a lot of ways I'm jealous...and sad. I wish I was one of those people who didn't want them. :p
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to get all academic like Dr. K and cite recent cultural transitions that impacted blah blah blah (j/k: you know your brain turns me on).
ReplyDeleteThe is no path. There is no supposed to be. You are no less of a person because you do or don't want to poop out a parasite. A cute parasite to be sure . . . BTW I AGREE WITH YOU ON SO MANY COUNTS! BTW 2 you can be a mother and family in SO many different ways
You make me smile and ONE of the things I love about you is your idepenance :)
ReplyDelete(Random reader from TN, here ...)
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, especially this post, because I could have made that same exact list!