The Best Thing

Yesterday I ran in a 5k in Minneapolis called the Say Thanks Run which benefits the MN Military Appreciation Fund.  It was a beautiful morning with temperatures in the low 60's and the sun shining brightly.  But the weather wasn't the best thing about this race.

The run was in conjunction with the rededication of Victory Memorial Drive, a WWI memorial in Minneapolis.  There were veterans of all ages there admiring the new memorial and gorgeous parkway.  Two veterans played Taps, then sang the National Anthem right before the start of the race.  It was a very prideful and touching moment for me.  But the rededication wasn't the best thing about this race.

The course was a very simple "out and back" down the parkway.  The street was lined with gorgeous oak and maple trees, that I could estimate to be over 75 years old.  There was a very, very small incline on the way out, which made for a very, very nice decline on the way back!  There were less than 400 participants, and everyone was very encouraging.  But the atmosphere wasn't the best thing about this race.

Just after the turn I noticed a runner right next to me and he yelled some encouragement to one of the other runners who hadn't turned yet.  They must have been friends as the 2nd runner yelled back "Keep up the good work Jerry!"  I turned my head to see a gentlemen twice my age about to kick my butt.  So I say, "Go get 'em Jerry.  Kick my ass!"  He laughs and says, "I could be your grandfather."  I remind him that age doesn't matter when you're running less than 10:00 miles.  Jerry kept me going for just over a mile strong.  I didn't want to let that man down.  We bantered back and forth the whole way.  

My legs started to get cramps though, and I needed to slow down a bit.  Jerry told me to slow down a notch, but for not too long.  I would guess that he finished at least a minute before me.  When I crossed the finish line I was ecstatic!  I had beat my previous PR, and had finished in 30:09!!!  This was largely due to Jerry's encouragement!  I pushed myself like never before!  But achieving my PR was not the best thing about this race.

The BEST thing about this race was the fact that I got to run it with my friend, Captain Jackie S. Jaspers.  Jackie enlisted with the Marines shortly after her first year of college and has been on too many deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan.  There were countless nights that I spent worrying about her safety, and the safety of everyone in her deployment.  But she is amazing, and is finally home, living in the Twin Cities!  She is no longer enlisted, but active in Guard.  

The best thing about yesterday was the fact that she was with me.  That I can thank her in person for her service to our country.  I get to make memories with her like running 5ks together, and beating PRs together.  Jackie beat hers yesterday too!  She is a kick butt runner and I love watching her succeed!  

Thank you Jackie.  Thank you MN military personnel.  Thank you to all of our troops!

The Crying Game

I cry when I'm sad, happy, angry, excited, frustrated... all of the above. Simply put, I'm a crier.

Below are only a few places or situations where I've cried:

• My bed (in many homes.)
• My bathroom (again, in many homes.)
• My bosses office (many bosses actually. In front of my boss and alone.)
• My high school bathroom
• My therapists office
• Bathrooms at the bar (hmm... this seems to be a theme?)
• The Start (and Finish) line of the 2009 Get In Gear 10k
• In a hotel room in Red Wing after one of my closest friends told me she was pregnant. (This was crying AND laughing. Oh, and screaming too!)
• Our wedding.
• Other weddings. I'm 99% sure that I've shed tears at every wedding I've attended.
• And, today at Mile 6, 11, and 26.2 of the 2010 Twin Cities Marathon

Today's tears came while wearing a boa... just sayin'.

When the going gets tough...

It's been a few weeks since I've thrown my thoughts and feelings out into cyber space. I've been a little reserved when it comes to baring my soul. I guess it's because it was hard enough to admit to myself that I wasn't feeling quite "right", let alone admit it to the interwebs.

But it's true, I have been on the down cycle of my emotions over the last month or so. What started as being in a rut, turned into me being depressed. I forgot to tap into my support system, and let everything that was bothering me grow into a mean and messy monster of emotions. My husband and I became disconnected, and I began secluding myself from having any sort of deep conversation.

I avoided opening up at all costs, and learned to put on a show of functionality. This show didn't last long because I am not someone who deals well with things on my own. It's easier for me to figure things out if I lean on others, and talk things through. Eventually I was confronted by some caring friends, and I had to answer the question, "Are you alright?"

I wasn't alright. I wasn't even fine. I was terrible, lost, lonely, and scared. I had to ask for what I needed most. And asking for emotional support is not easy for me. Looking at someone and admitting I need help takes a lot of courage. To some, it comes easy. But to me, it's painful.

"Things" are better now. Not exactly all taken care of, but better. And every day that I don't hide my feelings from those who love me is a good day. I'm back on the cyber webs, putting myself out there!