Because I said so...

I ask the question "why" alot. And I have ALWAYS hated the answer "Because I said so." Srsly, what kind of answer is that?!

But, as it turns out... there is one scenario in which I will accept this answer. It's when one of my friends commits to making a positive choice. See, the only reason I worked out yesterday and today is because I sent an email to the MFP and the Phil telling them I would. It's only "because I said so" that I took an hour each day to take care of only me.

I guess "because I said so" can be a good reason.

Thank you friends. Thank you.

What If...

I'm very curious by nature, and I love to know the answers to "Why" and "How". One of my favorite questions is "What if". I used to play this game called "What if..." It's not necessarily a game in that there's a winner or a loser. But it was something I did for fun to pass the time. I would come up with so many different "What if's..."

There were the questions that are absolutely absurd:

What if...

• there were no sidewalks anywhere?
• babies were born as 2 year olds?
• there were no dogs?
• the automobile was never invented?
• the sky was red all the time?

Then, there were the questions that seemed absurd at the time, but became reality:

What if...

• the planes fell from the sky?
• the bridge collapsed while we were driving over it?
• the roof caved in?

Unfortunately, 99% of these questions were directed at my sister. She tried to answer them honestly for years and years. But finally one day, she looked at me and quite seriously said, "We'd all be dead." I was so startled at her answer. I couldn't believe that everyone would really be dead if we only ate beef and never tried chicken. We certainly wouldn't all be dead if we didn't know how to use a computer. And we definitely wouldn't all be dead if every car in the world was orange!

See, she sort of got frustrated with all my questioning. It was non stop, over and over, my imagination would come up with so many questions. She got so tired of coming up with answers.

But now that I'm an adult, she is one of the first people I run my "What if's..." by. I reach out to her when I have big decisions to make. We run through scenarios of what could happen. But she never tells me "We'd all be dead." She knows that my questioning is helpful, and a good thing. She embraces my curiosity. She even encourages her own kids to question things.

I still, very much, enjoy questioning things. I love knowing why a process is done one way or another. I enjoy learning how things are completed from beginning to end. I just simply love learning.

Thankfully, the answer to my questions is very, very rarely "We'd all be dead."

Christmaspolooza

It's coming, it's coming, it's coming! Christmaspolooza will be here in 9 days! I'm so freaking excited for this "lock-in" type family celebration! Brian and I head down to my sister's house on Wednesday evening, and we won't be home again until Christmas morning-ish. We stock up on everyone's favorite foods and drinks. We play board games, card games, Wii games! We laugh, we cry, we eat, we drink. We run around like we're crazy people (and maybe we are, but I LOVE it)!

Christmaspolooza is the best way for a wanna-be Jewish girl to celebrate this wonderful, loving, blessed time of the year.

No More Naked

About 6 or 7 years ago I asked a couple of High School girlfriends if they were interested in playing on a co-ed volleyball team. We gathered a couple of boys (one of their husband's, and another high school friend) and found a league on Thursday nights.

We had a blast playing indoors and thought we'd try sand volleyball. We decided (after having a few beverages) that we needed a cool team name. We tried coming up with something clever, tricky, fun. And one of the guys said, "What about Naked"? We sort of stopped, and laughed at him. But then someone said, "No wait! 'Wanna play Naked?' sounds pretty cool!" We laughed it off a bit more and decided we had a name!!!

So we began playing Naked volleyball at Mama G's in Maple Grove. We had fun every week, and made some great memories! It was great to get out and do something fun together. Every week we chatted about life, and just enjoyed being together. We went back inside for the Winter and played together year round.

Things started to change, as life generally does. One friend moved away, another decided he was too busy with work to commit, and another friend got pregnant!!! The changes were exciting and fun. The team dynamic changed a little bit, but we kept on going. Over the years we continued to have fun together. There was always laughter and smiles.

We won many championship games over the years. We came up with inside jokes ("I'll show you the ballmark!"). And we just simply had a blast.

As things continued to change in our lives we were farther and farther away from the original group. It was bittersweet how the girls were having babies, and guys were starting their own businesses. We were all moving on with such wonderful things in life. And there came less and less time for Naked volleyball.

Last week was the last time we played together. I'm fortunate enough to still be on a team, and I'll get to play every week. But I'll miss Naked. I'll miss the laughter with my friends, and winning with them. I'll miss the high fives and hugs. I'll miss being competitive with them and watching us all improve our skills. All for good reasons, Naked volleyball no longer exists.

Just before the game we'd gather hands in a circle. Sometimes we'd talk strategy. Sometimes we'd pass gas and giggle. Sometimes we'd just smile at each other. But we always had the cheer... uno dos tres NAKED!

The Crying Game

I cry when I'm sad, happy, angry, excited, frustrated... all of the above. Simply put, I'm a crier.

Below are only a few places or situations where I've cried:

• My bed (in many homes.)
• My bathroom (again, in many homes.)
• My bosses office (many bosses actually. In front of my boss and alone.)
• My high school bathroom
• My therapists office
• Bathrooms at the bar (hmm... this seems to be a theme?)
• The Start (and Finish) line of the 2009 Get In Gear 10k
• In a hotel room in Red Wing after one of my closest friends told me she was pregnant. (This was crying AND laughing. Oh, and screaming too!)
• Our wedding.
• Other weddings. I'm 99% sure that I've shed tears at every wedding I've attended.
• And, today at Mile 6, 11, and 26.2 of the 2010 Twin Cities Marathon

Today's tears came while wearing a boa... just sayin'.

In Writing

I verbalized a lofty goal at the end of August. I told my Hot Hubby that I would walk or jog 250 miles before the clock strikes Midnight on December 31st of this year. At that time, it meant I would need to walk/jog just under 2 miles per day to make this goal.

Seeing as I didn't consider myself committed to this goal, I sort of slacked for about a month. I currently have 104 days to complete 226 miles. That's an average of 2.2 miles per day until New Year's Eve.

Now I have verbalized the goal to a couple of people AND it's in writing. I'm committed.

Feel free to remind me of this goal from time to time. Public or private Facebook messages, text messages, phone calls, carrier pigeons are all acceptable ways of communicating your interest in my goal.

Walk on, do something, care for yourself.

Ready vs. Want

There is a difference between being "ready" for something, and "wanting" something. For example:

• I may want a promotion at work, but I may not be ready for it.
• At one point in my early 20's I wanted a nice house in S. Minneapolis to call my own, but I was definitely not ready for it.
• Most days I am ready to go for a run, but I often don't want to go.
• I may be ready to start attending Shabbat services at Temple Israel, but I don't want to start (this item is a whole OTHER blog post!)
• The lawn is ready to be mowed, but I don't want to mow it.

My point today is that I understand that I will never be ready to have kids, but that doesn't mean that I want them. I struggle quite a bit with my feelings towards having or not having kids.

I have very well meaning friends that assure me that there will never be a perfect time to make that leap. I know that the timing will never be perfect. They also tell me that it will be "different" when the kids are my own. The problem with that kind of encouragement is that I actually like kids. I like babies, toddlers, pre-teens... sometimes I even like the moody teenagers!

Hot Hubby and I talk about having kids (or not) a lot. The issue we have isn't whether or not we are ready for kids. The issue is whether or not we want kids.

The Final Countdown

April 15th is in 8 days. 8 calendar days. One week, and one day.

What does this matter you ask? Let me tell you:

• Brian will go back to working 40 hours a week instead of the 75+ hours he's working now.
• I will feel more loved, less crazy, and happier.
• Our phone conversations will no longer end with "So it's going to be a late night?" "Uh, yeah."
• Rascal will no longer sit at the top of the stairs waiting for his Daddy to come home.
• We will no longer have a scheduled Date Night (This may or may not be a good thing?!)
• I will sleep through the night without waking every 45 minutes wondering about the "thumps" in the night.
• Our activities together will consist of more than just making dinner once a week.
• We will have time to work on "us".
• Tax Season will be O-V-E-R!!!!!!!!

So Suck it Tax Season Lizard. I'm nearly done with you!

Dear Self,

We need to have a chat.

I am incredibly happy that you had finally realized that your glutinous, lazy ways are not healthy. But I am NOT happy that you gave up so freaking easily. Seriously Self, seriously. What did you think would happen when you put forth a mediocre (at best) effort to work out? Did you think that you'd miraculously lose weight, even though you still ate like a queen and drank copious amounts wine? Did you think that doing 30 minutes of easy cardio 4 times a week was going to develop into a habit?

Uh, NOPE! You need to take yourself seriously. You need to truly care about that curvy, fun, lovable body of yours. You need to exercise AND eat healthy! It's not rocket-science here babe, it's simple. Do the things that are good for you, eat the things that are good for you.

Lizard or no lizard... you need to get healthy. I love you. I want you to be around for a long time. Self, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Love always,

Me