When the going gets tough...

It's been a few weeks since I've thrown my thoughts and feelings out into cyber space. I've been a little reserved when it comes to baring my soul. I guess it's because it was hard enough to admit to myself that I wasn't feeling quite "right", let alone admit it to the interwebs.

But it's true, I have been on the down cycle of my emotions over the last month or so. What started as being in a rut, turned into me being depressed. I forgot to tap into my support system, and let everything that was bothering me grow into a mean and messy monster of emotions. My husband and I became disconnected, and I began secluding myself from having any sort of deep conversation.

I avoided opening up at all costs, and learned to put on a show of functionality. This show didn't last long because I am not someone who deals well with things on my own. It's easier for me to figure things out if I lean on others, and talk things through. Eventually I was confronted by some caring friends, and I had to answer the question, "Are you alright?"

I wasn't alright. I wasn't even fine. I was terrible, lost, lonely, and scared. I had to ask for what I needed most. And asking for emotional support is not easy for me. Looking at someone and admitting I need help takes a lot of courage. To some, it comes easy. But to me, it's painful.

"Things" are better now. Not exactly all taken care of, but better. And every day that I don't hide my feelings from those who love me is a good day. I'm back on the cyber webs, putting myself out there!

What's your Chicken Piccata?

When I was a teenager I had a picture of what a wife looked like. This picture was NOTHING like the wife that was also my mother. The picture I had of a wife was pretty, nice, welcoming, clean, and most importantly could cook. My picture especially involved that one signature meal that would knock the socks off any guest, but more importantly would rock my husband's world.

For a long, long time I put that picture away. I especially let go of the idea a signature meal as I wasn't confident in my cooking abilities. I was a single girl who quit college, worked as a waitress, and ate at Mickey's Diner at 3:30am most mornings. Cooking wasn't fun, or needed. And creating a signature dish wasn't necessary either.

Then I started to grow up. I started dating Brian, started to settle down, went back to college, got my first Corporate America job, and eventually got married. I was a wife. Oh shit! Where's that picture I had in my head??? I should probably review it!

I started cooking for my husband and he (along with my wonderful Sissy) convinced me that I am in fact a great cook. I started experimenting, and got creative. I found recipes that looked wonderful and tried them out.

Along the lines I found Chicken Piccata. Fried chicken in a lemon caper sauce over noodles. Uh, hello... what is not to love here? I found my signature dish. I found something that I can cook for guests or for my own family and it will please them. It's a dish that says to my husband, "I love you so much that I am making my best just for you."

Chicken Piccata is my peace offering, my welcome mat, my best first impression. It's how I wow people, and make them feel comfortable in my home. Do you have a Chicken Piccata? Do you have that signature dish?