Every Day

Every day is a chance to improve or make a change. It could even be said that every moment during the day is a chance to improve or make a change. Every time I have to make a choice, I have the opportunity to improve who I am.

I talk about change right now because I'm feeling overwhelmed. If I were to be completely honest, I would say I'm feeling overwhelmed and fat. I can't believe how many poor choices I've made over the last year that have caused me to gain the amount of weight I have gained. I can't believe how much I've let myself go. I chose to indulge in tasty treats, relaxing ways, and over abundance of vino!

But every day, every moment I have an opportunity to change. I have a chance to get myself back to a healthy weight. Healthy to me is also attractive. So my need to lose weight is two-fold: 1 to be healthy, and 2 to have confidence in my looks again.

So I try to make multiple choices throughout the day that will bring me to a better weight. I try to remind myself that I am my own worst critic, but I also get to control myself. Each choice can lead me down a healthy, happy path.

It IS better with a boa

Even Big 10 football players know it's better with a boa. The Hawkeyes are 7-0 on the season, and are kicking some serious butt.

See those two hot chicks in this picture? THEY are wearing boas. THEIR team wins! Duh!

I'm a big kid now

Last week I found a sock. I found this sock under a bed. This bed is in our guest room, and the sock was a white bootie with a pink toe and heel. I knew immediately that the sock belongs to my sister. For those of you who know me well, know that my older sister is one of my closest friends. And for those of you who know both of us, know that she moved into our home earlier this year to separate from her husband.

I'll cut to the chase and tell you that her separation story has a happy ending. She and my brother in law are doing great back in their own home. As I like to tell people who ask how they are doing, "They are fighting like normal people do." Her story of this journey can be found on her blog (specifically during March and April).

But my story of this sock is a little different. I saw this sock, and was hit with a wave of memories. Memories full of tears, memories full of laughter. See the sock was a reminder that my sister came to me when she was in desperate need of support. She looked to her little sister to be a shoulder to cry on, a voice of reason, and comic relief. And during the time that she stayed with us I was forced to grow up quickly.

There have been other times during my life that I was forced to grow up quickly. Seeing the lone sock under the bed reminded me of some of those times:

• Like the time that I was 11 years old and my sister was in a car accident. I was brought to the funeral home to help pick out a coffin for my stillborn niece. Grew up fast there.
• Or what about the time I wrote a letter to my 8th grade English teacher about how awful my mom was to me. My teacher ignored my cry for help and I was forced to grow up and deal with my mom on my own. Grew up fast again.
• There was also a time that I finally had enough courage to state an emotional boundary to my parents and I let them know that I no longer wanted a relationship with my mom. It took courage to look at my Dad and let him know that I wanted her out of my life, but that I still wanted to build a relationship with him. I grew up so fast when his response was "It's either both of us or nothing."

The sock reminded me of a lot of things. Most of all it reminded me that I'm not the little girl I once was. Instead, I'm a woman... still growing up.